Phone/Soul Tug-of-War

There’s this thing I keep doing. I’m half working, then notice my son is on his ipad playing roblox. It’s usually a brutal reminder that I, myself, am staring at my own screen and ignoring him. I tell him - OFF! Screen time DONE! Then, I remind my daughter why staring at herself on Snapchat is distorting the way she sees herself. I say it with conviction, sometimes even a little flair, like I’ve just delivered a TED Talk on childhood brain development. Then I scroll my inbox for the eighth time that hour. Or reply to a Slack message that probably could have waited. Or check to see if a reel we posted got traction.

The irony isn’t lost on me.

Leading a company demands constant attention. Parenting demands presence. And both seem to be in a turf war with my phone. That buzzing rectangle is where business lives. But it’s also where my attention goes to die.

I want my kids to see me look up more. I want them to know how to communicate with words out loud, not just over test threads or snapchat emojis. And I want to feel the space between tasks. I want to remember what I used to do before every empty moment was filled with tapping and swiping.

So lately I’ve been trying. Not perfectly, (AT ALL) but on purpose.

My first step was turning off notifications. I started with social, moved to email, and though I haven’t been able to switch off slack, I’m hopeful that someday I can. The rule right now is no devices after 8 for the kids, and I leave my phone in the kitchen during dinner. It’s small, but it’s something. I write this, as I know many of you feel the same way. Embarassed by how addicted you are 🙋‍♀️, and helpless or not sure how to step out of the cycle. This might not be the bold cold turkey move some people need, but it’s my start, and I’m proud.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about being anti-tech because I’m obviously in the tech world. It just hit a point where I knew I needed to change something. I don’t have it figured out. But I’m in the work of making space at home, and in my own nervous system.

If you’re building something or raising someone, or both, and feel like you’re failing both when your phone is always in your hand… you’re not alone. Let’s find a better way to lead, live, and log off. Any ideas, please share!